


Guilty.

by lavenderhoneymndes



Category: Shawn Mendes (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Badboy!Shawn, Blood and Injury, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:41:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22341958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderhoneymndes/pseuds/lavenderhoneymndes
Relationships: Shawn Mendes/Reader, Shawn Mendes/You
Kudos: 12





	Guilty.

Another Saturday night, another night of you alone in bed without a word from Shawn. Not a phone call, not a text. Nothing. 

You’d become accustomed to it, his little disappearing acts, just to come back home bloodied and bruised. You hated that you had gotten so used to it, but there wasn’t much you could do about it. Shawn was a big boy, he could do whatever he wanted to do, whether you liked it or not.

It was nearing one in the morning and sleep was just beginning to take hold of you when you heard the clamoring of heavy boots and the slight squeak of a leather jacket at your bedroom door. You shot up from your bed, squinting your eyes recognizing the silhouette. 

“Jesus, Shawn!” you yelp clutching your chest, “You scared me half to death.” 

“Sorry honey.” his voice sounds weak and tired and you can’t see much through the darkness of your room, just the dim moonlight shining through the window. “I’m going to change, go back to sleep.” he shrugs off his leather jacket, tossing it onto your desk chair in the corner and heads to the small bathroom connected to your room. He was in there longer than needed to change, and you got curious. So you pull yourself up from the bed and go to the bathroom knocking on the door softly. 

“Shawn.” 

“I’ll be out in minute honey go back to bed,” he nearly whimpers. It’s the strain in his voice that had you barging into the bathroom just for your eyes to land on an all too familiar sight. Shawn shirtless hunched over the sink, with your first aid kit next to him in a sad attempt to bandage himself up.

“Oh, Shawn.” you sigh leaning against the door frame. 

“I’m fine,” he mumbled looking at himself in the mirror. 

“Sit. Let me help.” 

“It’s okay. I got it, go to bed.” 

“No, sit,” you say softly guiding him to sit on the edge of the tub, and he doesn’t fight you. You turn to the sink shifting through your first aid kit, that’s turned more into a doctor’s bag over time. 

“Look at me,” you say placing your fingers under his chin forcing him to look up at you, turning his head from side to side to get a better look at his injuries. It’s not that bad this time around. A busted lip and a pretty ugly gash above his eyebrow along with the usual bloodied nose and shiner. You’ve had to clean him and the boys up with much worse. You were kind of the clubs unofficial doctor, seeing as they couldn’t always go to the hospital.

“I’m sorry.” He says softly as you begin cleaning the gash above his eye. 

“For what baby?” 

“Staying out late. Coming home all bloody.” he says placing his hands on your hips, “I’m going to get out. I swear I am.”

“I know Shawn.” you smile sadly, running your fingers through his hair, heart melting as he leaned into your touch. 

You’d heard it before. How he had an exit plan, that it was the last time, that after this business or that business was settled with whomever, he was out for good. It felt like it was endless.

“You hate me, don’t you?” Shawn asks.

“No. I don’t- I don’t hate you, Shawn. I’m not the biggest fan of this or your friends but I could never hate you.” you say playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. “This is what I signed up for.” 

“That doesn’t mean you have to put up with my shit,” he whispers looking down at his feet, nibbling at his already split lip, the metallic taste taking over his taste buds. “You can leave. If you want. I’d understand.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because you’re a good person. And you’re smart. You deserve better than someone like me.” 

He always wondered how he got so lucky with you. There was nothing about him that was special. He was a burn out who didn’t even bother going to uni (even though you and everyone who knows him tells him he’s more than capable). In Shawn’s mind, the only thing he was good at was being an outlaw. In any other circumstances your paths would have never crossed, but you’ve known Shawn since you were kids. Long before his reputation, and his friends. You knew the real Shawn. You could see past all of it and you stayed for him. Something he could never understand. 

“Do you want to know why I’m with you Shawn?” you ask, placing your hands on his cheeks rubbing soothing circles avoiding the little scratch on his right side. “Because you’re kind to me. You respect me, you’re smart -” 

“No, I’m -” 

“Let me finish.” you kneel down in front of him so that your “You’re loyal. And you do your best but Shawn you’re not a bad person. You do stupid shit, that I really wish you didn’t. But your not a bad person. And when you tell me you’re going to get out, I believe you.” 

“I’m really trying.”

“I know you are.” you pull him in for a quick peck, before standing, and bringing your clean up of your kit. 

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” 

“No, I’ll be sore in the morning though,” he says simply and you just nod, through a small yawn. 

“Let’s get you to bed.” he sighed, standing up from the tub, turning you around by your shoulders marching you back to your side of the bed. He lifts the sheets allowing you to slip in. You reach for him to come to join you but he pulls away.

“I’m going to take a quick shower. I’ll be back in a minute.” you give him a small nod, watching him disappear into the dim light of your bathroom. 

He’s back in only a few moments, crawling into bed behind you pulling you close to his chest. You brink the hand resting on your stomach up to your lips planting a sweet kiss to his bruised knuckles. 

“You’re going to be okay baby. You’ll get out.” 

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Believing me. For not giving up on me.” 

“Never.” 

  
  



End file.
